New research reveals that careless writing in online dating profiles—example: “teh” instead of “the”— reveals the writer to be inattentive, incompetent, and not very intelligent or warm. These results suggest that language still matters to the general public (phew! we are relieved to know), and people are generally turned off by typos, grammatical mistakes, and improper sentence formatting. This research was conducted in the very modern domain of online dating. Perhaps mechanical errors evoke fears of wild teeth growth, ghastly breath, or pervasive gaseousness. We say this slightly in jest, yet it is easy to make a connection between writing and the human body because, according to literary theory, the act of writing has much to do with the body: writing itself is memory; and the textual body of a page or book, much like the human body, inscribes and expresses a very sociocultural and personal history. Self-expression occurs thanks to the physiological or the textual body—or to both.

Textual Satisfaction

In fact, writing, or expression, has everything to do with eroticism. French theorist Roland Barthes (1915–1980) theorized that the writer experiences jouissance (French for ecstasy) during the act of writing—has this ever happened to you?—and the reader, in exchange, orgasms in the act of reading the text—this is why book lovers are called book lovers. Barthes would say that writing is kama sutra, and that the text must seduce the reader by revealing its own desire. Wannabe daters, are you listening?

A typical heterosexual Frenchman, Roland Barthes likened the text to a seductive woman as, for him, the text enchants the eyes while gradually undressing. The pleasure at the sight—at long last!—of the beloved’s nakedness is equivalent to the unveiling of the text, little by little, until the climax, end, or moral is achieved. (For a cinematic demonstration, see Sofia Loren’s striptease in Ieri, Oggi, Domani, 1963.) Some readers jump over passages to arrive at the end, like lovers who rush to the beloved, undressing him or her voraciously. Thus, the body as writing, or as text, is an evocative notion that should make us think better of how we write. Written words have the power to make us salivate, as would a delicious risotto or a beautiful body.

Why edit?

To further expound, let us note that a misspelled or improperly capitalized word in a dating profile may surreptitiously signal the inability to be aware—and take care—of one’s own bodily habits. After all, grammatical unruliness can easily spill into untidiness in the home. He who types “their” instead of “they’re” surely lets grease linger for months and months until it is permanently encrusted on his stovetop. Thus, dating hopefuls who write

o   I’d be hAppy to

o   I like women who aren’t afraid to put their arm around my waste

o   I’d like my weak to end and begin with you

o   I hope we can where matching shirts

o   Just remember, your not feeding me mustard

may not have as many likes, waves, or messages as daters who made sure their copy was perfect. When others can’t see you face-to-face, the pressure is on the cues you give, consciously or unconsciously, in your writing style. However, as with all forms of marketing, there is hope in good editing and proofreading! For those of us who do not entertain the online dating world, the same conclusions should be drawn—and all the more so—for our business or organization writing. After all, Linkedin can be considered online “dating” for business professionals: How we present our work online, whether on a website or an online resume, is often reviewed without our even knowing it, the readers rightfully asking themselves as they peruse our business profile, “Do I want to entrust my reputation and work to this person?” Self-representation (or self-editing) through writing is everything; it is the gatekeeper.

autopilot pitfalls

Have you ever noticed, in a funny way, how autocorrection for spelling and grammar does not always work? To a computer, this headline is without flaw. Yet the author (and editor) forgot the trusty hyphen between the noun and adjective (no, silly! first-hand—not hand-job!), thus changing the meaning entirely:

I recently heard of a professional who received an email apologizing for "any incontinence this may have caused.” This alone is reason to check your spellcheck! What does it say when we send linguistic mishaps to higher-ups, colleagues, or potential soulmates? While such antics can be funny in retrospect, it is usually only so for the outsiders who can laugh at the momentarily careless writer.

The facts are in: we are judged by how we write. How we write might very well gain—or lose—us our potential business or romantic partners. According to the 2019 study, “Impression formation on online dating sites: Effects of language errors in profile texts on perceptions of profile owners’ attractiveness,” in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, online daters judge potential partners’ attractiveness based on grammar, spelling, and typos. On the other hand, according to this same study, people who made no errors in their profiles were favorably perceived in terms of warmth—and that is one soft skill we would all do well to enhance.

The study also highlights the connection between mechanical errors and a decline in social-romantic and physical attraction: “Mechanical errors in profiles are a significant predictor of perceived attentiveness. Attentiveness fully mediated the relationship between mechanical errors and perceived social-romantic attraction, physical attraction, and dating intention.” These days, showing love or respect begins, in its most pre-nascent stage, by being attentive to how you write your (would-be) beloved. The same is true of a potential boss, albeit with less intimate language.

online Profile Tips

Writing reflects how one thinks; it is a process that actually develops how we think and have our being—and this is a process of empowerment that goes well beyond dating or job hopes. We suggest that you take the time to ensure that the words you use are clear and thoughtful—with grammar and spelling check turned on, yes, but also with a third objective read to check for accuracy. Who needs a misused apostrophe to stand out like a piece of seaweed in your teeth? And who needs a headliner that totally derails the reader in side stitches?…

Here’s the takeaway: We would do well to attentively self-edit for the rest of our lives—in every context. A good edit ensures we put our best foot (and intentions) forward. Writing is a presentation of a skill, a desire, or an idea that is vastly dependent upon language for its communication. Let’s ensure that that language is clean and polished so as to not cloud our meaning, let alone what others think of us. Whether we are more concerned with our social, dating, or business circle, we need to be aware of how we write—and edit—all of our content. Doing so shows self-respect, as well as immense courtesy to others.

Better yet, let Content Editing Lab review your business or dating profile. You can trust our editing expertise as well as the value we place on soft skills in self-representation: We ensure that you represent your message in the most auspicious of ways.